Gown by Macy's
Gown by David’s Bridal

In this day and age of second marriages, couples often already have children at the time of the wedding. Including the children in the wedding is a wonderful way to make the children feel like they are a valuable part of the special occasion. After all, the addition of another parent and possibly siblings is a big change for them, and extra effort to bring love and peace to the family unit is important for the harmony of the new marriage. Some couples have gone so far as to say their vows to the children, as well. When asking a little person to participate in the wedding, you should explain how important his or her role is. Minimize the pressure by explaining the duties well in advance. The parents should follow up with pep talks and rehearsals.

The flower girl usually is a child between the ages of three to eight. The ring bearer is usually around the same age. The ring bearer usually precedes the flower girl in the line up.

Things to keep in mind when choosing your little people to participate in your grand event:

1) their ages
2) children will act their age
3) do not underestimate their intelligence. Get them involved, and let them know well in advance their responsibilities and how important it is to you and the wedding party.

If possible, invite them to any luncheons or dinners that your attendants will have to get them acquainted with the wedding party. It will ease anxiety on the wedding day if they see familiar faces around them.

Keep in mind that having children in the ceremony means unpredictability. The ring bearer, the young man you have carrying your precious stones down the aisle, could shock you. God forbid he loses the rings while playing with them during the ceremony. My son was the ring bearer for my second marriage and I was shocked when I saw him putting the ring in his mouth during the ceremony. It is important to instill how important it is not to lose or play with the rings.

If the child is a teenager, you might find a different role for him in the ceremony. For example, my oldest son gave me away. To my amazement, when we reached the end of our walk, he kissed my new husband-to-be and whispered that he loved him. Everyone was extremely touched.

Involving your children in the special day is precious, and it is symbolic that they will be just as important and involved in your new life and new marriage as ever before.

By Chanelle M