The budget you set will determine the type of wedding you will have—the location, the style, everything—so cost is the first thing you and your beloved should address.
When you begin budgeting for your wedding, there are several things you need to keep in mind. The first thing to consider is that smaller and informal weddings tend to be less expensive. Formal and larger weddings, on the other hand, tend to be larger, and therefore more expensive. This may seem like common sense, but when you are excited about planning, your eyes sometimes are bigger than your budget. So right off the bat you need to sit down with a calculator and figure out what you really want and, more important, what you can realistically afford.
Who Pays for What?
Traditional Weddings
Traditionally, a young engaged couple’s family paid for everything wedding-related. Usually, the financial responsibility was divided as follows:
Her Expenses
The bride’s family typically paid for the ceremony location and reception site, flowers, transportation, stationary, the groom’s wedding band, and the bride’s dress, veil, and accessories. Additionally, the bride and/or her family paid for all professional services, including food, drink, decorations, music, and transportation of the bridal party to and from the ceremony and reception.
His Expenses
The groom and his family usually paid for the marriage license and officiant’s fee, the groom’s attire, boutonnieres for the groomsmen, and corsages for the couple’s mothers and grandmothers. The groom and his family also paid for the wedding photos and video, as well as the complete honeymoon package. The groom and/or his family were also responsible for the bride’s wedding band.
Modern Weddings
Nowadays, more and more couples are financing their own weddings. There are several reasons for this shift. For one thing, many couples today are getting married later in life. These couples are already established in their careers, so their finances are already set. Some of these couples may already be living together, meaning that their finances—and the financial responsibilities for the wedding—are intermingled. Similarly, these days engagements tend to be longer than was common in the past, giving couples time to work together to financially plan and save money for their weddings. Couples with preexisting families—those with children from their current union or from an earlier marriage or relationship—tend to pay for their own weddings, as well.
To this end, there are things that can be done to accommodate couples who are looking to be frugal. Following is a list of money-saving tips detailing who pays for what in a modern, easy-on-the-budget wedding:
- All attendants pay for their own clothing and accessories. In such cases, it is important that each person who accepts the role of attendant understands the financial responsibility involved in participating in this very important event.
- The family of either the bride or the groom plans and hosts the engagement party.
- The groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
- The bride plans and hosts the bridesmaids' luncheon or dinner party. (This may be a good time to give your bridesmaids their gifts.)
- The groom hosts and plans the bachelor’s dinner party. (This may be a good time for the groom to give the groomsmen their gifts.)
- The maid of honor and bridesmaids host the bridal shower. (Note that the bride’s family may want to be involved in this event, so be sure to discuss it with the bride’s mother, sister, or another close family member.) Keep in mind that you don’t want your attendants to plan—and your attendants don’t want to plan— anything that will make anyone uncomfortable; talk to your attendants and family members about what’s best for everyone, and adjust the shower-hosting duties accordingly.
- The best man and ushers host the groom’s bachelor party. As with the bridal shower, talk to family members as well as attendants to determine how best to go about planning and hosting the bachelor party.
Ways to Save
Shop around to save money and make the right vendor connections. Make phone calls and get estimates, and before signing a contract or making a commitment to any vendor, get references and check them out.
Plan, plan, plan
The more time you have, the stronger your negotiating power. Don’t allow yourself to get into a desperate situation; this will only lead you to making hasty—and possibly bad—decisions.
Timing is Everything
Know that there are high seasons in the wedding industry, so the time of year you choose greatly determines how expensive your event can get.
Things You Should Not Skimp On
- Photographer and/or videographer: Wedding photos and videos tangibly preserve your memories of your wedding day. So don't compromise on your photographs, or you will regret it forever. Your wedding video is another important keepsake, and one you don't want to skimp on.
- Your honeymoon: Don’t forget, this is the beginning of your life together—celebrate it properly!
- Your wedding bands: These are your future family heirlooms, so don’t be afraid to spend a little more for high quality, uniqueness, or just something that’s special to you.
Everyone must find for themselves what is most important and what will make this occasion special for them. So how do you get started? The key to having an affordable yet memorable wedding is to create a realistic budget before you start planning. Don’t depend on others to come through for you; if you do, you may be disappointed and frustrated when the people helping you feel that this gives them liberties to implement their own desires.
Take a look at the following wedding budget checklist, which should give you an idea of what to keep in mind when planning your budget. Using this list, you can customize your wedding plans and budget so you can have the wedding of your dreams without breaking the bank!
Click here to download the Check List.
~ Myrdith Leon-McCormack
